The Turning Point
by tiny'sbigshoes
Summary: Speculation for 4x23. Kensi is jealous after Deeks has to go undercover and deal with an old source. Will this be the turning point in their relationship? Just a two-shot! Next chapter will be up soon.
1. Chapter 1

She hadn't looked him in the eye all day. When the case was wrapped up, she had muttered a quick goodnight and strode out of the mission, and when he arrived in the bullpen asking for her, Callen had told him that she had already left. '_She seemed upset' _he had said, with a knowing look in his eye.

"Be careful, Deeks. There's a fine line between partners and something more. You know that. Don't mess things up with her."

"I'm not trying to, G. I'll go talk to her."

"Yeah. Don't let this inflate your already huge ego, but you're good for her. You make her smile. But know this- hurt her and they won't find your body."

Deeks winced as he gathered his things. "You two have that in common you know that? Always ruining nice moments with threats. But thanks man. Means a lot. I feel like I've finally found somewhere I belong, you know? I just.. things have been complicated with Kensi lately. I'm not sure what to do. I want to take the step and also not ruin things. So.. I'll figure it out. We will."

"I sure hope so Deeks. We need a functional team. And if you let this get in the way of work-"

"Don't worry G. Not going to happen. Have you forgotten how uptight and professional Kensi can be?"

"Well she's had you clouding her judgement for three years, Deeks." Callen joked as he walked out of the bullpen. "Night!"

"Night" Deeks called back as he too started walking to his car. It had been a tough case. He had had to go undercover to root out an arms dealer. Things had started to go south when an old flame and source of his had shown up. Maria sure was hot and fiery, perfect for the one night flings that had dominated his life not so long ago. But that wasn't what he wanted any more. For a long time now, the only thing he needed in his life was a certain tall brunette with a junk food addiction. The sex could wait. He could wait. There had been moments when their 'thing' resurfaced. But never had they confronted it before. It scares him. Hell, he's sure it scares them both. But after today, he doesn't know how they can possibly avoid it.

He had been undercover waiting for an arms dealer, Dimitry to show in the little bar he was known to frequent when Maria had snuck up and offered to buy him a drink. She had told him that she was working for Dimitry and could get him all the information he wanted. For a small price, he had to get her brother out of prison. Hetty had considered it a valuable trade, considering the crimes Dimitry had committed, or was capable of committing. The initial information that Maria had supplied had also been legitimate, and so he had agreed to her little deal. The case wore on and the tables had quickly turned when Maria had pulled a gun on him, claiming that she really worked for Dimitry. He wouldn't have gotten out alive if it hadn't been for Kensi and the rest of the team, but he still felt sick to his stomach. He _knew _ she could hear Maria flirting over the com, and he obviously had to retaliate to keep the case going. Maria's subtle reminders to him about their times together over 10 years ago made him uncomfortable because he _knew _she could hear and he _knew_ what it was probably doing to her. When they were leaving the bar, Maria had taken his face in her hands and kissed him, and he found it near impossible to return the kiss when he _knew _she was watching from the other side of the road. He had looked at her then, after Maria had walked away; and she was resolutely staring ahead of her, with stoic expression on her face. She hadn't greeted him when he had slipped in to the car, instead turned the techno station on the radio up and drove the short drive to the mission in silence.

It was that expression on her face that remained in his mind as he walked up to her front door, bearing pizza, beer, doughnuts, ice cream and a box of twinkies for good measure.

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**First chapter was a little short, but the next shouldn't be. Update in a week! Reviews make me happy. and maybe make me write faster ;) **


	2. Chapter 2

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't sit where they sat every day, stare at his desk waiting for him to come down from Ops. To say that it had been a bad day would be an understatement. She was fighting back some nausea as she gathered her things, muttered a goodnight wish to Callen as he sat next to her with his paperwork. She didn't even hear his reply as she hurried from the building; her thoughts drowning out everything else. She didn't notice Nell entering the building and brushed past her as she hurried to her car, just wanting to drive away. Drive away from it all, drive away from _him. _

For it was him that she so desperately was trying to avoid. She couldn't look him in the eye today. Maybe for a couple of days. Not after he had kissed that Maria. Not after she had heard her fawning over him and his replies that sounded o_h so convincing. _She fumed as she thought of that double crossing bitch who had _almost_ gotten her partner killed. She had been almost at her wits end when she thought that she was going to lose Deeks. If she hadn't gotten there in time, if the team hadn't gotten there on time, Deeks probably wouldn't have made it. She's been in this situation a couple of times. And there was honestly nothing that scared her more. But tonight, she was nursing something else. A new fire had sparked within her, not when Deeks was in danger, but when he had kissed that scum of an informant. When he had more than gladly returned the kiss that she had planted on him. When he had gotten in to her car and had not made a single comment in the Deeks-banter that she was used to. She had just driven then. Straight to Ops. She couldn't look at him after that. And he seemed to respect it. When she pulled in to the driveway, she had gotten out and walked in to the building without saying a word. She had waked straight past the bullpen and headed to the gym where she knew she cold take her frustration out on the punching bag.

* * *

The only thing on her mind when she came back home was a bubble bath and then a tub of Rocky Road. She filled up the tub and went looking for the ice cream, only to notice that her usual stock of sweetness was missing as she and Deeks had cleared it out a few days ago. Cursing, she decided to go to the store after her bath. Forty five minutes later, when the water had long gone cold, and the bubbles had faded away, she still found herself sitting in the tub, staring blankly at the wall opposite her, still deep in thought about the day she had had. The feelings that were bubbling up inside of her were strange. And alien. She was not, in any way used to this. She always took Deeks for granted, She knew he would be there the next day, and the next. And their playful flirtation was a given now. They didn't question it. Didn't think about it. Just went along with the flow. But when she had to watch him _flirt _with another woman, _kiss _another woman, she couldn't take it anymore. Their relationship couldn't always stay the same, it was bound to blow up sometime, and maybe this was the little shove that pushed it over the edge. She wasn't prepared for it to change. Although, maybe a small part of her wanted it to. They had been tiptoeing over the line too much lately. She had been _so _embarrassed when Nell had walked in to them rolling around on the hotel bed the other day. Another part of her, a larger part, was scared. Scared of losing her partner and friend If they crossed the said line. Scared that it would affect their partnership and that their team would never be the same. Scared that they would have to be separated. Scared by just how colossal her feelings were for him. Scared about how much losing him would hurt.

Sighing, she made her way out of the tub, and pulled on yoga pants and a comfortable T shirt she had stolen from Deeks a while ago. The well-worn shirt that had 'LAPD' patterned on it still smelled like him, or so she liked to think. She was just grabbing her car keys to go and get the ice cream she was craving when her doorbell rang. '_Dammit.' _She knew exactly who it would be, and seriously considered pretending that she wasn't home. She didn't want to face it just yet. Pulling herself together, she made her way to the door and pulled aside the blind to see her partner loaded with food and a six pack of beer. _'Is that rocky road in his hands?'_ She cursed as she pulled open the door, fighting every resolve not to. She was torn between grabbing the ice cream and throwing him out or letting him in. The first option seemed rather melodramatic, so she silently stood aside for him to pass her in to her home. She might as well handle this like an adult.

"What do you want, Deeks?" She leant against the doorframe and stared at him, as he put the food down on the counter and turned to look at her.

"Just some quality time with my partner, Partner." He smiled at her slowly and sat down on a breakfast stool. "And to deliver an apology." He looked at her then, and the honesty in his eyes took her by surprise.

"You have nothing to apologise for." She deadpanned, as she made her way over to him to take a bottle of beer from the pack he had brought over.

"Don't I?"

"Nope. Why would you?"

"Because today felt wrong. It felt terrible. But I had to do it anyway, cause it's my job. We had to snag the bad guys today Kens. And Maria was our way in."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Deeks. It is your job. Whether it meant anything or not, whether you wanted to do to kiss her or not, you had to. We are partners. Nothing more. You don't owe me an explanation." She avoided his gaze as she walked to the sofa and sat down, looking for her remote.

"I think I do, Kens. I _know _I do, and you know it." He followed her to the sofa and sat by her, forcing her to look at him.

"Why do we have to talk about this? We can go back to work tomorrow and everything will be fine. I just needed a little time to sort out my head. I'm fine now."

"But I'm not, Kensi. The only thing I could think of all throughout was how wrong it felt."

"And it's over now. So we can just eat dinner and go back to being us, alright?"

"Is that what you want? We've been toeing the line for a while now, Kens."

Kensi sighed and rested her head on the sofa, and closed her eyes. "I don't want us to change, Deeks. What if it ruins everything?" she said softly.

"We'll only change for the better, you know that. Deep down. We wont let it get in the way of work. I can't do this anymore. I can't go undercover and just wonder if I should feel differently. I'm sick of wondering. I.. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here but I really don't want to feel this way about anyone else. We've been just skirting over our 'thing' Kens." He scooted closer to her, and waited for her to respond. Maybe he was pushing it today. He probably was. He hoped that her walls wouldn't shoot back up.

Her eyes shot open as she took in their proximity and looked in to his eyes. "Deeks.. I can't." She mumbled, her voice breaking.

The disappointment was etched on his face as he pulled away. "I get it. Okay I think I need to get back to Monty anyway. See you tomorrow, Partner." He pulled himself off the sofa with a wry smile on his face.

Kensi started at that. She knew how much her words, few as they might have been, had hurt him. She got off the sofa and halted his progress to the door with a soft "Deeks."

He turned around then, his face an unreadable mask of resignation as he took her in, realising finally that the T shirt he had been missing was on his partner. If this had been a different situation, he would have made a comment about how it looked a lot better on her, or teased her for not being able to live without him. But right then, in that emotionally charged moment, as she slowly walked towards him and raised her hand to his cheek and slowly ran her fingers over his scruff, he was silent. He closed his eyes at her touch and breathed her in. What he was not prepared for was her lips to lightly touch his, and her hand to wander in to his hair, pulling him closer. The kisses she planted on his lips became one, two and three until he finally regained his senses enough to respond. His hands came to settle at her waist as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, eliciting a soft moan from her as his tongue brushed hers. He lost count of time and the ability to think of anything but the amazing woman who was pressed against him, but he slowly pulled away when the kisses started to get more urgent. He looked down at her then, she was still pressed against him and her head was resting on his shoulder.

"I'm sick of wondering too. I don't want to lose you, Deeks." She whispered, as she pulled away to look at him. "I'm just scared. There are just too many things that this could ruin."

"We'll figure it out, Princess, we always do." Deeks grinned, as he pulled her back in to his arms.

Kensi smiled and returned the embrace. "We always do", she echoed. She could never have asked for a better partner.


End file.
